Ready for Take Off

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Ready to Go

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In two days I will be heading off to New Haven, Connecticut for a week at Yale University to learn leadership skills and partake in community service acts.

Holy shit. This is happening.

Even though I know it’ll be a lot of fun (based off of a prior experience with a similar program), my trepidation continues to grow as the 24th approaches.

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Dress from an indie Korean brand. You can purchase a brown version of the dress at my Poshmark closet @phinayi.
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Earrings are Kate Spade. Shades from Urban Outfitters.
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Sneakers are Pastry Shoes.

I think another reason why I’m scared is because by the time I return home it’ll be the end of July.

Which gives leaves me exactly 22 days to mentally prepare myself for school.

My very last year of high school.

It’s difficult to imagine life without a structured school system since it has dominated my life thus far. But instead of focusing on a daunting future, I’m attempting to enjoy and live in the now. And to think about the positive events that are upcoming, such as my trip to Yale and taking classes in my Senior year that I’m actually interested it.

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Whip it!

I hope that by the end of my trip I’ll be that much better as person and as a leader.

My past experience with the National Student Leadership Conference at the University of California, Berkeley, proved to me that life changing experiences can occur in a small amount of time but nonetheless potent. It also introduced me to students from across the globe, resulting in the development of true, longlasting friendships with people who have changed me for the better.

If the Ambassador Leaders Program at Yale is anything like the one I’ve just described, then I’m more than ready to go.

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Go to Work

First thing I see when I wake up is a text from my friend, Joy.

“AP SCORES R UP”

I’m initially hesitant to check my scores because on my first AP test (World History) I didn’t do well. And in all honesty, I don’t remember a thing that Iearned for the test. There was so much information to gather that my brain had a meltdown.

So naturally I was anxious to see what I scored on my AP English Language and AP U.S. History Tests.

However, I decided to push those somber thoughts to the back of my mind and went to the College Board website to see what I got.

For those of who don’t know, AP tests are scored based off of a range from 1 to 5, 5 being the best. Though it varies for different universities, most schools accept the credit if you’ve scored a 4 or a 5.

And guess what?

I got a 4 for both of my tests!

That basically means that not only did I pass, but I crushed it. I didn’t kill it since that would mean I got 5s, but hey, it’s pretty damn close.

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Top from Hot Topic. Jeans from Abercrombie & Fitch.
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Jacket from KISSUE.

Due to my resurge of energy stemmed from my scores, I’ve begun doing my summer work.

Seniors are supposed to read two books over the summer if they plan to take the English Literature AP class.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and Grendel by John Gardner.

Luckily I’ve already read Jane Eyre which only leaves one book to read. And I know that if I don’t start now, I’ll probably end up reading it in the week leading up to the beginning of school. And, of course, can’t forget about annotating. Great.

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Shades from Poshmark.
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Shoes from JustFab.

Plus I have to complete my assignments for the Ambassadors Leaders Program I’m attending during the week of the 24th.

One is developing a community service plan, while the other has you identify events that have influenced you and how to be the best leader you can be.

I’m both stoked and nervous about this program since I’m going on my own. It’s held at Yale University and lasts about a week. Despite having flown alone before, and the program spanning over a longer period of time, I still get imense butterflies thinking about the prospect of having to do that again.

This is why I’m anxious:

This will only be the fourth time I’ve flown somewhere alone.

When I was younger and hadn’t yet gotten my green card, my mother and I traveled to Houston from Malaysia and vice versa frequently. So I’ve gotten used to having her with me when I travel.

I won’t know anyone attending the summer camp. 

Not knowing anyone where you’re at is nervewrecking for everyone. I’m terrible at meeting new people because I never know what to say or do. And apparently what I usually call my “anxious face,” is what everyone else believes is my bitch face.

I’m incredibly scared of flying on airplanes.

Due to my frequent airplane rides when I was a little girl, I’ve developed a deep dislike of airplanes. The probability of the plane falling and eventually leading to my death freaks me out. AND the nausea that could plague at any time, which could ultimately ruin the entire flight for you.

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I’m tired. I need a nap.
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Hmm…  I wonder where Sofia went.

But I will stay strong! And not have a meltdown!

I’m sure that as soon as I calm down I’ll have a blast.

I mean, it’s Yale.

That’s kind of awesome.

How many people get the chance to go to Yale?

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Chillin’ without the Netflix.
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Can I go sleep now?

So with all that PLUS dealing with college stuff (bleh), it’s time to do some work.

Yay.

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See ya!

Charlie’s New Angel (Sort Of)

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Murals galore!

It’s the first day of summer vacation.

Hallelujah!

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Seraphim

It’s so strange.

My friends and I were walking towards the bus circle when it suddenly hit me.

I’ve just completed my Junior Year of high school.

In August I’ll be filling out forms requesting for my transcripts. Mailing my applications to various schools. Retaking the SAT and ACT just to see how well I can do. And applying for scholarships to ameliorate the money matter.

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Shades from Poshmark. Romper part of the Finders Keepers chain.
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Shoes are Antonio Melani.
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My best jump yet.

I’ve gotten a lot better at this jumping business.

I actually kind of know what I’m doing.

And I can do it in a less amount of times.

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It’s the first day of summer!

So peace out suckers!

School’s out.

Thinking of June

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Getting my cool colors on.

Finals start next week.

So weird.

Despite the fact that on paper I have five exams, technically, I only have three written finals – Spanish III, Physics I, and PreCal.

I don’t have to deal with English III and U. S. History since I took the AP Exams. Thank God, because if the school made me take the final exams for those subjects, I would have a fit.

The others are electives like Art IV and Study Hall.

I highly doubt that we have actual tests in there.

Look at me go!

It took so many tries to get this shot.

At first I would stop too soon.

Then I didn’t know what the hell to do with my arms.

And then I kept freakin’ tripping over myself and would fall a bajillion times.

But I must say, the shot turned out really well.

I remember that wall being hot as hell.
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Is this not a perfect picture for Instagram?

AND my birthday is next Monday.

I’ll be turning seventeen which is SO WEIRD.

I’ve so worn out that I forget about it unless it’s a due date for homework or something.

But I am definitely looking forward to my momma making me a chocolate cake 😊.

Shades are Betsey Johnson.
Dress from Poshmark.
Shoes from JustFab.
Ready for June.

Even though the prospect of impending college is absolutely terrifying, I’m so done with this school year!

I mean, I’ll miss some of my classes because I actually enjoyed some of them this year, but I’m ready for a break.

A looooooong break.

Intermitted with college visits and writing college essays.

Great.

Dreaming of the End

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Let’s do this!

I have my last AP Exam today. I’m so happy that I might actually cry (not exaggerating).

I’m surprised by how calm I’ve been these last two weeks though. When I took my very first AP last year, I was so stressed and scared that I almost started crying in the middle of testing. Maybe it’s because I actually learned something in this year’s AP classes. And that I enjoyed it. Or it’s because I remembered that my life will not be ruined by a bad score.

Either way, I’m glad that it’s almost over. Plus, technically I only have three final exams since I took the AP Exams for my other classes ( #helltotheyes ).

But it’s not just AP testing that’s ending. School is too. Summer starts in three weeks.

THREE WEEKS.

I’m both ecstatic and shocked by how fast this year has gone by. And I’m freaked out by the fact that I’m an upcoming Senior.

So weird. So old.

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This is me before AP testing.
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This is me after AP testing.

Anyway, I’m ready to get this thing over with and party like there’s no tomorrow.

And by partying I mean napping.

It Has Begun

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Keeping it natural.

My AP U. S. History Exam is tomorrow.

I might throw up.

Or cry.

Or pass out.

Not neccessarily in that order.

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Vest from Forever 21. Jumpsuit from Ave 20 20. Bangle was a gift.

However, in terms of knowing the material and what to expect, I’m Gucci.

But regarding time management and anxiousness, well, that’s a whole other struggle to deal with.

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Just hanging out…in the grass.

I just need to breathe. Because apparently I tend to forget.

As my history teacher wisely said: You are your worst enemy.

So I shall hold onto hope as if my life depends on it (’cause that’s what it feels like)!

And think about these to cheer me up:

I’m so looking forward for AP weeks to end.

I’m ready to chill.

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Let’s do this thing!

I will end the post by quoting my English teacher:

“Make this test your bitch!”

The Last Stand

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I’m ready for APs. Mostly.

So I’ve got U. S. History STAAR today and the AP U. S. History on Friday. Then next Wednesday I’ve got AP English Language and Composition.

Great.

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Free People jumpsuit from Poshmark.

In the last couple of days my AP teachers have been giving pep talks and saying how bad AP scores is not the equivalent to a ruined life. However, despite their good intentions, it actually made me feel anxious. I guess it’s because it hadn’t hit me that APs have begun until, well, now.

Even though I feel like I’m about to hyperventilate every time I think about those tests, I actually think I’ve got a chance to pass. And maybe even do well! (Such an optimist, right?)

I felt even better after my APUSH teacher showed us these pictures:

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Beaten down by life and APs.

I will try to stay strong.

At least for the next week or so.

Then I’ll be super chill.

Until finals begin.

Great.

Brace Yourselves

AP Exams start next week.

Nuff said.

The struggle is real.

I’m trying my best to stay calm, and so far, I’m doing well. But knowing me, I’ll probably have a mini panic attack the morning of my exam.

I’ll be reviewing rhetorical strategies and language terms for English, and memorizing battles and court cases for History (insert deep sigh).

By the way, I’m casting my vote for Iron Man.
Top is Express and shorts are Mudd. Both via Poshmark.
Sneakers from Pastry Shoes.

But I will be strong! There are five weeks left of school and then I’ll be done.

It will be summer.

I will sleep in.

And only get up for food.

And chocolate milk.

And probably homebaked goods too. (Wink wink, momma. Just kidding. Kind of. Sort of. Not really.)

Chocolate + Me

But until then, I shall hold on to what little care I have left in me and attempt to make it through the next five weeks.

#iwillsurvive #bemyownhero

Time to Celebrate

This is my favorite photoshoot out of all the ones I’ve done so far.

The yellow-colored wall is gorgeous and really makes my dress pop!

It made my mod inspired look even cooler (so modest, right?).

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My favorite shot.
Dress from H&M. Shoes from JustFab.

Wind is a useful tool in shoots. It can make your hair look incredibly epic or blow your skirt in such a way that it looks like ripples in water.

This is not one of those times.

Even though the picture turned out well (it’s actually pretty adorable), it was a struggle keeping the shoot PG-13. At one point I thought I was going to have a Mary Poppins moment and be blown away.

Look at those chameleons!
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A three-day weekend is very much appreciated.

I know I say it every week, but I’m so done with life right now. I had three quizzes and one test in my AP U.S. History all in one week.

So basically I’m mentally drained.

Ring is Kate Spade Saturday. Necklace is Kendra Scott. Sunglasses from Poshmark.

But thank God it’s a three-day weekend. I’m ready to kick back and relax.

Peace out fools!

FriYay

I’m happy it’s Friday that I might actually cry (so sad).

I just need to get through today.

I have an AP Multiple Choice test in English and a quiz in U.S. History AP. If it weren’t for the fact that I have those two classes at the end of the day, I would’ve just skipped and slept (just kidding… kind of… not really…).

Looking off into the distance…at a Smoothie King….wanting a smoothie.

You know those posters for superhero movies? The ones that have the characters being cool and looking off into the distance? Well that’s basically what mine would look like if I had one.

If I could have a superpower I’d probably want the power to fly. That’d be so cool. I’d never be late to school, I wouldn’t be stuck in traffic, and if I saw people that I really hated I could drop water balloons on them, you know, that kind of stuff.

It took me a couple of tries to balance on that thing AND look cool.
What?

 This is actually an impromptu photoshoot.

Technically I had already finished but my mother still had one more outfit. So while Sofia, our photographer, and I waited for my momma to put on her shoes and get herself situated, we decided to squeeze in another shoot for me.

Another case of whiplash.
I always seem to jump so high. What a lie 😂
Ready for the weekend!

P.s.

I didn’t say the brand of my clothes because the majority of what I was wearing is so old that I can’t remember. And the tags are washed out. But the shoes are from H&M and the necklace is Alexander McQueen (and from my mother’s jewelry stash).

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