The World According To Eve

A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year (2017)?

My mother has, and will always be, my biggest influence and inspiration.

Words will never be able to describe how incredible she is.

As a woman, a mother, and a wife.

Regardless of all her health issues and constant struggle with self-confidence, she continues to push herself to become the best version of herself she can be. Her constant strive to be strong and loving will always be inspirational. Thus it makes me want to become the best version of myself too. In terms of health, mental state, and living life in general. Love you Mummy.

What am I really proud of?

Aside from graduating high school and beginning college, I’m most proud of asking for help when I was almost at a point wherein I no longer saw living as anything but difficult and excruciating.

While I was depressed, I constantly wondered whether or not there was indeed something actually wrong with me or if it was insignificant.

When I began having panic attacks everyday before school and would thus not attend, my mother and stepfather brought me to someone who, to this day, I talk to about anything that bothers me.

Although technically they could have made me go, after my first session I began starting to accept that I needed help and the only true way to get better was to accept the help being presented to me.

Is everything I have done this year (2017) in alignment with my big dream or goal?

My hope is to one day earn a Ph. D. in psychology in order to help other people who suffer and need the type of help I need too.

I am now at a university that allows me to take classes which teach me things that will better me as a psychology student and, in the long run, a psychologist.

I will most definitely do my best to achieve my goal/dream.

I feel as though it is what I was fated to do.

I know it is what I’m meant to do.

 

Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?

A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

How have I developed or changed as a person?

I think, or at least I’d like to think, that I’ve become kinder and more sociable.

A few years prior to getting my green card, I became a very angsty and hostile person who was uncomfortable being around new people. Which in turn made me seem like a bitch. And not the good kind.

Maybe it was just being in “that” age, or maybe it was the transition into a whole new continent, or going back to public school, or perhaps it was the beginnings of what I now know to be my anxiety and depression.

Either way I began to realize that I couldn’t be that way forever.

I had to learn how to let people in.

I had to learn how to be open to leaving the house and doing something other then napping or watching tv shows.

I’m still sassy and scary.

That will probably never change. But at least I can learn how to control myself and determine what is the right amount and type of attitude to exude.

What have I done differently this year (2017)? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

As I mentioned before, I’ve become more outgoing.

By putting myself out there I’ve allowed myself to make new friends at my university, and thus, have new experiences. By “new” I don’t mean like the stereotypical college activities people think of: drinking, partying, skipping class, drugs, sex, etc.

By “new” I mean going out to the bleachers and dancing to music, making pancakes or cookies in the common kitchen, studying on the grass on a nice breezy day, going to a nail salon for a manicure, hanging out at Chinatown while drinking bubble tea, and staying out at night jamming out to throwback songs.

For some these things may not seem too extravagant.

But the people you’re with are as equally important as the activity itself.

 How much fun have I had this year (2017)? Was I fulfilled?

2017 was a crazy year filled with it’s ups and downs.

But when I think back to that year, I think of it fondly.

I was fulfilled in the sense that I had ended a chapter in my life that I’m proud to have accomplished (graduating high school) because of how long it seemed to have taken. Not to mention the constant motivation to do well in order to get into college.

It’s hard to accurately put into words the relief and joy I felt when I received my first university acceptance letter. Although in the end I chose to not attend that school, the thought that there was indeed a university that wanted me was one of the most fulfilling emotions I have had in my life thus far.

Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?

A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

What were my best achievements this year (2017)?

My greatest achievements of 2017 is graduating from my high school, Memorial Senior High School, and attending my university, the University of Dallas (not the University of Texas at Dallas).

For those who don’t know, which is probably most of you, there was point during my high school experience wherein I sincerely believed I would not be able to graduate from high school or want to live long enough to see it happen. But once I realized that I both needed and should not be shamed of asking for help, the world began to not look so grim and dark anymore.

For similar reasons I did not think I would make it to college.

I also had a fear, that I think the majority of students have, that I wouldn’t be accepted into any university. Rejection is already a bitter pill to swallow. Imagine being rejected multiple times at such a fragile time. If it weren’t for the fact that applying to schools is quite expensive itself, I probably would’ve applied to twenty (I ended up applying to eight with some ending up being free).

Persevering will always be my greatest achievement.

How did these achievements make me feel?

For my high school graduation I was initially in denial.

Once it began to sink in I became excited, relieved, and with a slight feeling of dread.

I did not like my high school. At all.

While it gave me a pretty good education, the white privilege and overbearing focus on athletics was discouraging for anyone else who did not fit the mold. So once I faced my impending departure, I practically yelled “Hallelujah!”

It’s always exciting to start a new phase in one’s life, just as it is terrifying. Leaving behind what and who you know for something new, especially on your own, can freak any person out.

After a month into university, I began to truly love being a college student. I felt accomplished and excited that I was finally beginning my studies in a field that I’m passionate about and interested in.

Psychology.

Overall I feel proud about what I’ve accomplished.

And slightly still in denial because it seemed not too long ago that I was finishing fifth grade at Frostwood Elementary School.

What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year (2017)? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

My greatest challenges was coming to terms with saying goodbye to my family and friends at home, transitioning into university life and thus living on my own, and making more of an effort to socialize.

Saying goodbye to anything or anyone, whether good or bad (thankfully good in my case), is a heart-wrenching thing to overcome. When I refer to goodbyes, I mean saying farewell to what you’ve had for a long time and have always known. For me that was seeing my mother and being with her everyday, as well as joking and eating with my friends everywhere we went. I’ve come to realize, however, that just because my norm has now changed it doesn’t mean that I’ll never have those things again. Winter and summer vacations allow me to have them without having to give up the new norm I’ve come to know.

Surprisingly, transitioning into college life was much easier than I had expected. I suppose I was more willing to meet and talk to new people than I was in high school. In high school, many of the students were the same from middle school and thus nothing really changed for me. But at university I was more open to my new environment and new people that came with it. I suppose it’s also because I knew that I couldn’t just be on my own forever 24/7. According to my philosophy class, man will always needs friendship as much as he needs water to live. I’m glad that I went for it because I’ve met some pretty incredible people here at UD.

As I mentioned before, socializing required a greater effort on  my part. Perhaps it’s just in my nature or maybe it’s because of my homeschooling, but I’ve always been more of an introvert. After I began managing my anxiety and depression, however, I decided to go out more and de-stress with my loved ones. Like it would with anyone, going out of one’s comfort zone and pushing yourself is never an easy task. But it allowed me to have new experiences (that I was still comfortable with because, you know, college) that brought me to meet people that have helped make my college experience wonderful and memorable (for the right reasons).

Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?