Self Reflection Part 3

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A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

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Dress from an indie boutique in Malaysia.

As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

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Lips by RealHer.
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#FEMININE
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Sneakers from my momma.

Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year (2017)?

My mother has, and will always be, my biggest influence and inspiration.

Words will never be able to describe how incredible she is.

As a woman, a mother, and a wife.

Regardless of all her health issues and constant struggle with self-confidence, she continues to push herself to become the best version of herself she can be. Her constant strive to be strong and loving will always be inspirational. Thus it makes me want to become the best version of myself too. In terms of health, mental state, and living life in general. Love you Mummy.

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What am I really proud of?

Aside from graduating high school and beginning college, I’m most proud of asking for help when I was almost at a point wherein I no longer saw living as anything but difficult and excruciating.

While I was depressed, I constantly wondered whether or not there was indeed something actually wrong with me or if it was insignificant.

When I began having panic attacks everyday before school and would thus not attend, my mother and stepfather brought me to someone who, to this day, I talk to about anything that bothers me.

Although technically they could have made me go, after my first session I began starting to accept that I needed help and the only true way to get better was to accept the help being presented to me.

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Is everything I have done this year (2017) in alignment with my big dream or goal?

My hope is to one day earn a Ph. D. in psychology in order to help other people who suffer and need the type of help I need too.

I am now at a university that allows me to take classes which teach me things that will better me as a psychology student and, in the long run, a psychologist.

I will most definitely do my best to achieve my goal/dream.

I feel as though it is what I was fated to do.

I know it is what I’m meant to do.

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Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?

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Self Reflection Part 2

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A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

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As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

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Shades from Poshmark.

How have I developed or changed as a person?

I think, or at least I’d like to think, that I’ve become kinder and more sociable.

A few years prior to getting my green card, I became a very angsty and hostile person who was uncomfortable being around new people. Which in turn made me seem like a bitch. And not the good kind.

Maybe it was just being in “that” age, or maybe it was the transition into a whole new continent, or going back to public school, or perhaps it was the beginnings of what I now know to be my anxiety and depression.

Either way I began to realize that I couldn’t be that way forever.

I had to learn how to let people in.

I had to learn how to be open to leaving the house and doing something other then napping or watching tv shows.

I’m still sassy and scary.

That will probably never change. But at least I can learn how to control myself and determine what is the right amount and type of attitude to exude.

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Top is Kate Spade.
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Pants from Creations for a Cause.
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Earrings from Hot Topic. Lips is By Terry called Chocolate Tea.
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Shoes from an indie boutique in Malaysia.

What have I done differently this year (2017)? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

As I mentioned before, I’ve become more outgoing.

By putting myself out there I’ve allowed myself to make new friends at my university, and thus, have new experiences. By “new” I don’t mean like the stereotypical college activities people think of: drinking, partying, skipping class, drugs, sex, etc.

By “new” I mean going out to the bleachers and dancing to music, making pancakes or cookies in the common kitchen, studying on the grass on a nice breezy day, going to a nail salon for a manicure, hanging out at Chinatown while drinking bubble tea, and staying out at night jamming out to throwback songs.

For some these things may not seem too extravagant.

But the people you’re with are as equally important as the activity itself.

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 How much fun have I had this year (2017)? Was I fulfilled?

2017 was a crazy year filled with it’s ups and downs.

But when I think back to that year, I think of it fondly.

I was fulfilled in the sense that I had ended a chapter in my life that I’m proud to have accomplished (graduating high school) because of how long it seemed to have taken. Not to mention the constant motivation to do well in order to get into college.

It’s hard to accurately put into words the relief and joy I felt when I received my first university acceptance letter. Although in the end I chose to not attend that school, the thought that there was indeed a university that wanted me was one of the most fulfilling emotions I have had in my life thus far.

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Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?

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Hello 2018!

Self Reflection Part 1

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A while back my mother emailed me nine questions titled “Self Reflection”

She read a post written by Chriselle Lim on The Chriselle Factor which inspired my momma to answer those questions herself.

She then forwarded the questions to me.

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Top from Forever 21.

As the title implies, the questions are pretty deep.

Like soul-reaching deep.

So I thought that it’d be better to split them into three in order to not send your brain into overload with my answers. Plus considering that these questions spark equally deep answers, one post encompassing such lengthy paragraphs might be a bit much.

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What were my best achievements this year (2017)?

My greatest achievements of 2017 is graduating from my high school, Memorial Senior High School, and attending my university, the University of Dallas (not the University of Texas at Dallas).

For those who don’t know, which is probably most of you, there was point during my high school experience wherein I sincerely believed I would not be able to graduate from high school or want to live long enough to see it happen. But once I realized that I both needed and should not be shamed of asking for help, the world began to not look so grim and dark anymore.

For similar reasons I did not think I would make it to college.

I also had a fear, that I think the majority of students have, that I wouldn’t be accepted into any university. Rejection is already a bitter pill to swallow. Imagine being rejected multiple times at such a fragile time. If it weren’t for the fact that applying to schools is quite expensive itself, I probably would’ve applied to twenty (I ended up applying to eight with some ending up being free).

Persevering will always be my greatest achievement.

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Shades from Poshmark. Lips are By Terry called Chocolate Tea.
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#MOODYVIBES

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How did these achievements make me feel?

For my high school graduation I was initially in denial.

Once it began to sink in I became excited, relieved, and with a slight feeling of dread.

I did not like my high school. At all.

While it gave me a pretty good education, the white privilege and overbearing focus on athletics was discouraging for anyone else who did not fit the mold. So once I faced my impending departure, I practically yelled “Hallelujah!”

It’s always exciting to start a new phase in one’s life, just as it is terrifying. Leaving behind what and who you know for something new, especially on your own, can freak any person out.

After a month into university, I began to truly love being a college student. I felt accomplished and excited that I was finally beginning my studies in a field that I’m passionate about and interested in.

Psychology.

Overall I feel proud about what I’ve accomplished.

And slightly still in denial because it seemed not too long ago that I was finishing fifth grade at Frostwood Elementary School.

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What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year (2017)? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

My greatest challenges was coming to terms with saying goodbye to my family and friends at home, transitioning into university life and thus living on my own, and making more of an effort to socialize.

Saying goodbye to anything or anyone, whether good or bad (thankfully good in my case), is a heart-wrenching thing to overcome. When I refer to goodbyes, I mean saying farewell to what you’ve had for a long time and have always known. For me that was seeing my mother and being with her everyday, as well as joking and eating with my friends everywhere we went. I’ve come to realize, however, that just because my norm has now changed it doesn’t mean that I’ll never have those things again. Winter and summer vacations allow me to have them without having to give up the new norm I’ve come to know.

Surprisingly, transitioning into college life was much easier than I had expected. I suppose I was more willing to meet and talk to new people than I was in high school. In high school, many of the students were the same from middle school and thus nothing really changed for me. But at university I was more open to my new environment and new people that came with it. I suppose it’s also because I knew that I couldn’t just be on my own forever 24/7. According to my philosophy class, man will always needs friendship as much as he needs water to live. I’m glad that I went for it because I’ve met some pretty incredible people here at UD.

As I mentioned before, socializing required a greater effort on  my part. Perhaps it’s just in my nature or maybe it’s because of my homeschooling, but I’ve always been more of an introvert. After I began managing my anxiety and depression, however, I decided to go out more and de-stress with my loved ones. Like it would with anyone, going out of one’s comfort zone and pushing yourself is never an easy task. But it allowed me to have new experiences (that I was still comfortable with because, you know, college) that brought me to meet people that have helped make my college experience wonderful and memorable (for the right reasons).

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#READYFOR2018
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Shoes are Betsey Johnson.

Here are the questions for you to answer as well:

1. What were my best achievements this year?

2. How did these achievements make me feel?

3. What were my 3 biggest challenges or obstacles I faced this year? How did I overcome them? Who did I become as a result?

4. How have I developed or changed as a person?

5. What have I done differently this year? What new people have I met or new experiences have I had?

6. How much fun have I had this year? Was I fulfilled?

7. Who has helped me, been influential, or impacted my life this year?

8. What am I really proud of?

9. Is everything I have done this year in alignment with my big dream or goal?

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“I Miss Those Hoes.”

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Dress from Forever 21.

One of the hardest things about leaving for university is saying goodbye to the friends you’ve known for the past four years.

But by now it’s not just the friends at home you miss, but the ones you’ve now made at university/college.

I found that while I was home I missed my college friends.

And now that I’m back at school I miss my friends from home.

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As a kid who moved around a lot, saying “Goodbye” is a guaranteed thing to do.

I can’t say that I’ve become accustomed to farewells, but rather having a friend for a few months or so before heading off to a new year. But even when I finally settled down at age 10, I realized that not all friendships will last or are meant to.

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Over time you learn that there are different types of friendships you’ll have in your lifetime.

For me, I’ve had: acquaintances, the ones you talk to (and probably only) in class, friend-of-a-friend friends, the ones you can live with not communicating with for a long time but still be friendly with, the snakes, the ones you tolerate, the ones who tolerate you, and, of course, true friends.

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Choker from Creations for a Cause.
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Shades from Poshmark.

Much to your chagrin, you’ve probably encountered many snakes or may have (unfortunately) been one without realizing it.

Snakes are the friends in sheep’s clothing that take a bite out of you whenever they please. They are the ones who stab you in the back and/or are the ones who become sour when a friendship is over.

If we are all being honest, no one is eternally immune from being petty or bitchy at some point in there life. You lash out when you feel you’ve been wronged, which, I think we can all agree, happens a lot. Or perhaps you do so because you’re hurt or feel just incredibly awkward about the whole ordeal.

Regardless of the reasoning, I’ve learned that I can sometime be a snake when I feel any of those things. I realized that I need to be better at being the better person, regardless of how the ex-friend may be acting themselves.

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Sometimes you find yourself being friends with someone just for the sake of having a friend. I’ve found myself in a few friendships in the past wherein I had nothing in common with the other person, did not even genuinely like that person, and/or was a friend because they were a friend-of-a-friend.

And I’m sure that I was on the receiving end in some friendships too.

So why do we spend time with people we aren’t true friends with?

Why are we friends for the sake of having a friend?

There is probably more than one answer, but I’ll let you ponder on that for yourself.

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Lipstick is By Terry called Chocolate Tea.
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Sneakers are Vans.

Now I put the last one as “true” rather than “best” for a reason.

I’ve come to learn that you may not have just one best friend, but perhaps a few or even a small group. Therefore “best” doesn’t really fit anymore (at least not for me), and thus I instead call them true friends. The ones you genuinely miss and turn to when anything insane happens around or towards you.

They are the ones you actually enjoy being with for the sake of their presence and will stay regardless of what others say about you (because hopefully they know you better).

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I will most definitely miss my family, my friends, and my sleeping time.

But I’m excited to see my university friends and order Chinese food at a Godforsaken hour, listen to Martha’s country playlist or Taylor Swift’s reputation album, make late night runs to the Shell gas station across the street, have throwback movie nights, go to UD’s weekly Thursday themed parties, as well as make pancakes and hot chocolate on Sunday mornings.

Good luck to everyone on their second semester!

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The New Year

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Face the new year head on!
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#2018

I think we can all agree that 2017 was rough.

Like hella rough around the globe.

We have had some of the worst hurricanes in history, faced the most tumultuous presidential election in America thus far, and face an onslaught of hate for anything or anyone that’s different. And that’s not even all of it.

But where there is darkness there is also light not far behind.

Whether it’s the momentous moments, such as the Astros winning post Harvey or the “Nevertheless, She Persisted” movement, or seemingly small ones, like the graduation of the 2017 students, all of them should be celebrated. Especially when everything else seems so bleak.

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Shades from Poshmark.
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Shoes from an indie boutique in Malaysia.

On a more personal note, 2017 is extremely important to me for many reasons.

It’s the year I graduated high school, the year I started university, and the year I became a legal adult.

With that came many goodbyes, reunions, and beginnings. All of the best kind.

Goodbyes that aren’t “forever,” but rather “for now.”

Reunions that celebrate who we once were and who we’ve become so far.

As well as beginnings that inspire us to look forward to and achieve whatever we set out mind on.

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Top from Forever 21.
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Culottes from Forever 21.

As a female, Asian immigrant, 2017 has been disheartening given who America elected for president.

It’s not just because the candidate I was rooting for, who yes happened to be female, lost the presidential election. It was the fact that the country I am living in, and have been for the past seven years, elected a president who insults and degrades everything that I am.

It was discouraging to think that I was basically unwelcome in the country that I’ve basically called home for a big portion of my life.

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I have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

I hope the People understand that acceptance and respect is something that everyone deserves regardless of color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender. In so many aspects we have progressed in terms of equality, like suffrage and just outright freedom. Yet we also have so much farther to go, like the gender pay gap and general courtesy for other human beings.

While I’m fully aware of the racism and sexism that prevails even to this day, and have been victim to it, I truly hope that somehow and in someway we can all rise above the hate and become better than we have ever been in the past.

I have thick skin for what bad things may come my way, but I will also work towards making the world a place wherein everyone is respected for who they are and what they believe.

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Regardless of how you feel about 2017, we can all agree that it is a memorable year.

And while it’s important to reflect upon past years, it’s vital that we all also look to the future and work towards making it a better and brighter one.

So here’s to 2018.

Happy new year everyone!

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Happy New Year!

Christmas Shopping

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One of the things that mark the beginning of adulthood is, in my opinion, the ability to find and purchase Christmas presents for your loved ones. So it’s not just figuring out what they want and where to buy them, but it’s also about the money coming out of your own pocket.

Initially you don’t really feel it. You just spend and spend and spend and get caught up in the fun of it. Everywhere you turn you see something that is perfect for somebody you know. Did they want it? Probably not. Do they need it? Nope.

And then you feel how light your wallet is while waiting in line and you think, “Oh s**t!”

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Beret from Poshmark.
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Sweater from Forever 21. Thanks Momma Bear!

This year I got some pretty cool gifts if I may say so myself.

And I have.

The person who has always been a struggle getting gifts for is my stepbrother, Gabriel. Usually he says “I don’t know” or nothing at all so we’re left guessing. Hopefully I’ll figure something out. Preferably before Christmas Eve.

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I’m incredibly excited about reuniting with the majority of my high school squad this Christmas too. Every Christmas we have a Secret Santa party and everyone of us receives a gift from another in our group.

We also have this major group chat on FaceBook messenger where we tell our Secret Santa what we like, what we don’t like, what we’d like to have, and other stuff like that. Usually it helps but by now we know each other well enough to know what we might like.

I’m probably more excited about seeing everybody again than the actual receiving of gifts. Not that I’d turn it away either though.

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Boots are my Momma’s.
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Lips are ROSE DORÉE LIP OIL by One Over One.

Regardless of what you manage to get for others and from them to you, all gifts are pretty awesome given that someone took the time to find something.

Christmas is coming soon!

I’m incredibly excited and I’m sure you are too.

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Jeans from an indie boutique in Singapore.

 

Christmas Traditions

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Swoosh!
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I was so scared I was going to hit my head.

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We have exactly one week until Christmas day!

This Christmas will mark my first one as a university student.

This year was the first time I hadn’t gone with my parent to pick out a tree, we are pretty late in decorating our home for Christmas, and, of course, I spent most of the weeks leading up to the holiday with my friends instead of my family.

Some things, however, stay the same.

I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas on replay, drink tons of hot chocolate, decorate the tree and give it a name.

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Top from Poshmark.

 

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Jacket from Forever 21. Shorts from H&M.

My friends and I have managed to start some new Christmas traditions of our own at the University of Dallas.

We have mini parties making and decorating cookies and then dunking them in a nice, hot mug of hot chocolate. We also go all out in terms of decorating our dorm rooms and doors. My roommate, Sarah, hung tons of snowflakes in our room and put at least five mini trees around the dorm room. She also put small Christmas inspired plates filled with candy for anyone to take who visits us in our dorm.

Sarah and our friend, Joanna, had a little competition for who has the best Christmas decorated door. Funny enough they ended up having the same concept for what they wanted the doors to look like: a fireplace with stockings we decorated ourselves as well.

We can go from having a fun, ugly Christmas sweater party dancing along to catchy Christmas songs to watching Christmas movies in our room eating pizza. I probably watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas seven times in the past two weeks. I also watched Fred Claus and The Polar Express intermittently.

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Shoes from ShoeDazzle.

 

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As a kid who has had to move multiple times, any traditions that I have in my life is incredibly important. But with that, as well as just being a human being, also comes a capacity to accept change.

Change isn’t always bad. And while I’ll miss how the weeks leading up to Christmas used to be, I also fully embrace any and all new things that come my way.

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My Inner Genius, Alex Munday

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This is the last edition of a three-part collaboration with Jodie’s Touch of Style and Sheela Writes. We are putting together outfits inspired by Charlie’s Angels. Also, though unintentional, it is a collaboration amongst mothers and daughters ❤️

The last of the series is to dress like the sexy genius, Alex Munday, who was played by Lucy Liu.

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Shades from Poshmark.
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#ALEXMUNDAY
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Booties that were a gift from Momma Bear.

The character Alex Munday was one of the first Asian characters I had came across as a child. She was smart, beautiful, and badass.

It wasn’t until I watched Charlie’s Angels that I realized how little Asian characters there are in the entertainment industry. Usually we’re cast as the wise, old Asian man or as the uptight and/or nerdy Asian female. And while those types of characters are great, it becomes an issue when those are the only types of characters that represent my race and ethnicity.

Alex Munday is a great example of breaking out of those stereotypes and representing us as so much more than what has already been shown.

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Jumpsuit from Forever 21.
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Crop top from Forever 21.

Our Alex Munday looks:

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#REPRESENTATION
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You look gorgeous and awesome. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
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I love this outfit! From the shoes to the purple sunglasses.

A ginormous HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one the most wonderful woman ever.

Happy Birthday Jodie!

I hope you have an amazing day. And a huge thanks to you and your family for the past seven collaborations. As well as the ones we will have in the future!

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That jacket is everything.
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Your accessories are amazing!

Thank you all so much for tuning in to our Charlie’s Angels collaboration!

Tons of love to everyone!

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My Inner Daredevil, Dylan Sanders

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#ANGEL
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#DYLANSANDERS
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#PORTRAIT

This is the second edition of a three-part collaboration with Jodie’s Touch of Style and Sheela Writes. We are putting together outfits inspired by Charlie’s Angels. Also, though unintentional, it is a collaboration amongst mothers and daughters ❤️

The first of the series is to dress like the cool daredevil, Dylan Sanders, who was played by Drew Barrymore. The rest will show the last Angel, which shall be posted on Friday.

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Pants from an indie boutique in Malaysia called Mix Culture.
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Who was your favorite Angel?
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Dylan Sanders was known for her retro vibes.
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Top from Forever 21.
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#SHADOWPLAY
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Shoes are Jeffrey Campbell.

Take a look at our looks!

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Steppin’ out.
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My Momma is lookin’ so good I can’t even. #RIPME
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This outfit is literally the epitome of Dylan.
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That hat looks so cute!
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Those pants are absolutely gorgeous.
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Nothing but love.

Check back on Friday for the last one!

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My Inner Goofball, Natalie Cook

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Feelin’ like a mermaid stepping out on land.

This is the first edition of a three-part collaboration with Jodie’s Touch of Style and Sheela Writes. We are putting together outfits inspired by Charlie’s Angels. Also, though unintentional, it is a collaboration amongst mothers and daughters ❤️

The first of the series is to dress like the dance-crazy goofball, Natalie Cook, who was  played by Cameron Diaz. The rest will show the other two Angels, which shall be posted in the following days.

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#VOGUE
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Dress from Forever 21. Thanks Mummy!
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#WHIPIT
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Sneakers from Topshop.
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Peek-a-boo!

Check us Angels out!

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Hey there.
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Momma Bear lookin’ fly.
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In love with Jodie’s top! As well as her killer silver metallic boots.
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That top is sooo pretty!
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Lovin’ the whole black monochrome look girl!
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They are literally the most adorable ladies ever.

Make sure to check back on Wednesday to see who we take inspiration from next!

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LOVE
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